Houseguests ...

I don't have a clue how long or intense this is going to get. If you don't want to listen to a good old rant then please stop reading now. I have this huge thing hanging over me and simply can't cope with it anymore.

We have had my partner's father living with us for almost a year now. We have supported him through all this time. He is a heavy smoker, drinker and he is not employed. Only one rule was laid down that merely requested him not to smoke in the house. He smokes in his bedroom and thinks we don't know. The pungent smell from the room could be a clue.

Ok, my problem is this. This old man is talking about me in a very non-flattering manner. Everywhere he goes, he is telling people horrible things about me and the other people who live in the house. He is manufacturing and creating stories faster than he can tell them. He spoiled my birthday last year by getting horribly drunk and took me on in a verbally abusive ranting session. Words like "you are to stupid to argue with", "you think you are better than others" and "I live with my son, not with you" and "my son pays for everything" were said. Because my parents taught me to respect older people, I told him that I don't want to argue with him. My partner tried to get him to stop, but the old man continued staring, no glaring at me for the rest of the evening until he eventually went to bed and passed out. The next day, he acted as if nothing had happened. For a while things calmed down, because my partner told him that he will not allow the old man to speak to me like that ever again but boy is he back with a vengeance. I think he is going insane. He is by no means old. I think he is only 58 or thereabouts. I am just thinking that if I am such a bitch to live with, why is he still here? If he is not being fed, like he says, why is he still alive? Why would I be wasting his son's money by shopping all the time, if I hate shopping? Who says a session at the gym should be longer than an hour. I go to Curves. A session around the circuit takes on average 30 minutes. The gym is around the corner and I am normally away from home for about 40 minutes. He doesn't understand that and reckons I am visiting a lover when I say that I am going to the gym and therefore lying to his son. Not a very good lover come to think if I am home so quickly again. I apparently don't pay attention to my babies and he has to look after them while I sit and watch tv all day or sit in the pub with my partner. The list goes on. And on!! Some of it I won't even mention here because it is not fit for public broadcast. Including allegations of me being a good old "Ho".

Why is he still living in our house I hear you scream? Wow, that is the question that I want answered. He is so stupid that he thinks that people believe him. He is stupid enough to think that they aren't coming straight to me and telling me what he is saying. He has caused such bad blood between my partner and his brother that they are not even talking to each other any more. His own grandchildren don't want him around, because they reckon that he looks and smells like a tramp. He uses offensive and obscene language as if it is a new official language. He can't put a sentence together without it containing profanity. They are embarrassed by him if they have friends visiting. He showers twice a day, but still smells heavily of smoke and alcohol. If he picks up one of the little ones, I change their clothes because they then smell like cigarette smoke. Nasty I know, but well within my rights as a parent. It is in their best interest. I stopped smoking for their sakes damnit!!! He was told to move out on Monday, but he is still here. I have given my partner an ultimatum. He has to be out tonight or I will pack his bags and throw him out myself. I honestly don't care what becomes of him. We took him in when he had nowhere to go. We clothed him, fed him and gave him a room of his own. This while 5 teenagers shared the other small bedroom and we have the two babies in our bedroom with us. The school holidays just finished. The teenagers used to sleep in the lounge on mattresses and the couches. We buy his smokes and beer for him and put money on his phone. We even found a job for him that he absconded from in the third week of being employed there. Not even his girlfriend wants him to stay with her.

I know this is all garbled and born out of frustration but I just don't know what to do anymore. I feel I need to bare my soul and maybe I just want someone to say that it is not that bad. Or that I can't possibly be that bad. I am all out of patience. I don't want to carry this hatred around any more. I am just not that type of a person. I just want peace restored in my home. I want to be able to entertain people like we did before and not have to worry if he is going to bare secrets to them like he does with everyone who visits our house. I understand that it is difficult for my partner because the man is still his father. Maybe I want him to put me first for a change? Maybe I want him to protect me from his father and his verbal abuse? Is that wrong? I just want this to stop.