When will guys learn?

For the lack of having anything useful to contribute today, I am placing this joke I received from a friend this morning. I thought you guys might enjoy it.


A man traveling by plane was in urgent need of using the restroom. Each time he tried to use it, it was occupied. The flight attendant aware of his predicament, suggested he use the ladies room but she cautioned him against pressing any of the buttons. The buttons were marked "WW", "WA","PP" and "ATR".

Making a fateful mistake many men make in disregarding what a woman says, he allowed his curiosity to get the best of him and decided to try the buttons anyway. He carefully pressed the first button, marked "WW", and immediately warm water sprayed his entire bottom. He thought, "Golly, the gals really got it made....."

Still curious, he pressed the second button, marked "WA", and warm air dried his bottom off gently and quickly. He thought that was out of this world. The button marked "PP" caused a large powder puff to powder his bottom with a sweet smelling silky powder.Well naturally he could not resist the last button marked "ATR".

When he woke up in the hospital, he panicked and buzzed the nurse. When she appeared, he cried out, "What happened? The last thing I remember I was in the ladies room aboard a plane." The nurse replied "Yes, you were having a great time until you pressed the last button marked "ATR" which stands for Automatic Tampon Remover. Your...thing is under your pillow."

I feel depressed today. The weather has turned. It is raining. It is simply miserable and that is exactly how I feel. We have had raging bushfires all around us the last couple of days and yes, I am happy that it is raining because that has killed the fires. I feel so sad for all the animals that died in the fires. Friends of ours have lost everything they ever possessed and don't know where to go from here. Our world is upside down. Devastating floods on the one side and hellish fires on the other side of the world. Don't forget about the earthquakes. Spare a thought for all affected by all these random happenings. Ok, rant over. Don't feel better now, but let's see if I can find another joke just to lift my spirits.

In a tiny village on the Irish coast lived an old

In a tiny village on the Irish coast lived an old lady, a virgin, and very
proud of it. Sensing that her final days were rapidly approaching, and
desiring to make sure everything was in proper order when she dies, she
went to the town's undertaker (who also happened to be the local postal
clerk) to make the proper "final" arrangements. As a last wish, she
informed the undertaker that she wanted the following inscription engraved
on her tombstone: "BORN A VIRGIN, LIVED AS A VIRGIN, DIED A VIRGIN"

Not long after, the old maid died peacefully. A few days after the funeral,
as the undertaker--postal clerk went to prepare the tombstone that the lady
had requested, it became quite apparent that the tombstone that she had
selected was much too small for the wording that she had chosen. He thought
long and hard about how he could fulfill the old maid's final request,
considering the very limited space available on the small piece of stone.

For days, he agonized over the dilemma. But finally his experience as a
postal worker allowed him to come up with what he thought was the
appropriate solution to the problem.

The virgin's tombstone was finally completed and duly engraved, and it read
as follows: "RETURNED UNOPENED"

For those of you who would like to have a look, I am going to do a post on the progress of my little ones. I have some beautiful new pictures and will post it to my other page. To those who haven't read my Scary movie post, please have a look.